Masculinity: Either Explode or Implode

Navigating Societal Toxicity and Finding Peace

Be a Man, Man up, Don’t cry, Don’t feel. Don’t emote, Don’t express. Don’t be yourself. Basically, Don’t be Human. Be the stoic beast, destroy and demand, don't let yourself be delicate or feel desolate. The list just goes on. This whole fabricated construction of what a man is supposed to be and is, is what is ruining the very lives of men it claims to protect. Globally Men are more likely to pursue suicide than women. Men are also more likely to lash out violently then women. Though on surface, one may expect women to do so more due to biases.

The way women and men suffer biases and reactions differ. While women suffer societal biases, they are more likely to open out over it or bring forth issues, whether they are addressed or not is a different problem. But when it comes to men, most are internalized. It also differs from women’s own difficulties in a sense, that women are told they are incapable and should be satisfied with less, with may enrage them, but the resultant is them working harder. While for men, it is usually a jab at their need to emote rather than at their ability. Men are often mocked as not incompetent, but rather for being emotional. They are told they are inherently superior and should not complain on one side and that hence, they should, not feel bad, sad but rather entitled over their superiority and claim and out perform all on the other.

And when men finally feel sad over a loss or feel bad over their inability to reach their expected level of perfection, this leads to high frustration and without any empathy or console from outside. It ends up with men, either turning on them inside or going ballistic.

It is indeed not a stretch to claim that aggression and suicide is always a symptom and a direct outcome of a toxic society .There are men that put on a bit of make up are happy enough with themselves as long as they get a pass from society and have solace in privacy, may suffice for that not to have any significant effect.

It’s the ones that are force fed ideas of what it is and isn’t to be A MAN is. But it still affects men and especially the ones who are aggressively or firmly told don’t be a sissy , don’t cry, don’t do this don’t do that, you’re not a man, grow a pair is where it does irreversible damage.

Words can be demeaning. It’s like a stab in the stomach. Especially from a father or an uncle or even a teacher or mother… etc. The ones doing all the aggression shouting name calling to boys and young men have extremely fragile egos they have extreme self esteem issues themselves and the only thing they seem to hold onto is that they are ‘A MAN’ but…. their rendition of a man is depressive, fake, toxic, they are abusive to everybody, the ‘men’ are toxic abusive to the boys/men they teach and it takes a long time for the boys to really come to recognise just how much they are messing with their minds and souls.

This also means men are trained to pass on extreme group behaviour of abuse and toxicity to women and girls if not to themselves. They are either trained or pressured show pretty much zero respect or appreciation for anything positive or love orientated which is a mistake, and this will eat them up into their own demise. Thus People end up not realising the consequences of abusing themselves and by allowing others to dictate to them who they are as a person and vilifying parts of themselves that they would otherwise have no problem with such as love and empathy. They demonise the very love they secretly crave and very empathy they need but despise. This ends destroying the magic of your own life and the relationships that surrounds them.

However ‘cheesy’ that sounds it’s just the truth.While it can be said that media exploits women, and that is why women speak out. In case of men, it is the entire world that exploits men, which means, one accepts it as an order nature rather than abhorrence. This especially becomes hard to tackle by since, it is socially powerful men with vested interests or genuinely lost one’s who think they can guide them, drowning out the voices of the other.. In the failing economy with high competition, the world pits us on each other, it puts us in poverty, but high job expectations and sharp inequality, it creates and incentivizes men to be even more. aggressive ‘MEN’ . Add to that the general societal pressure of generations of expected classical masculinity and mandate to be a provider, we end up teaching boys/men how to basically hate themselves hate the world and hate women.
Add to this the fear hyping that sells paranoia of ISIS, Black Men or White cops, or women who will trick you or many a band otherwise, (not to claim these are not real threats, they are, but the perspective provided, is highly empty and skewed) and sex hyping media that reinforces sexual prowess or domination as a sign of men’s human validity, it definitely is a messy world to traverse in and it is definitely to blame.

Our society is basically toxic. Aggression and suicide is always a symptom and I think a direct outcome of a toxic society. For this to be resolved men have got to let in the love — whatever that sounds cheesy who gives a damn. Give it a try.

That means men being allowed to be gentle with themselves, men being allowed to be gentle with other. That means men, you, me and whomever being allowed to be ourselves. I will repeat this till end of nigh and over be encouraging of yourself, be patient with yourself, don’t take from anyone, find a purpose in your life that doesn’t involve exploiting people who are weaker than you. Search for Live’s meaning within yourself, not what society provides you. Even if you cannot, assume it as fine and take life as it .

Start valuing your intelligence and being conscious and getting connected with your higher self. It’s really, really important. Most people don’t realise there are serious and severe consequences to being in society. You will feel like worthless before you even began. It is not true, it is just what they want you to believe and even they at the deepest part of their hearts don’t believe that.Still, They don’t tell you that. No one is exempt. Everyone gets it, Everyone else get it. You just can't throw money at the problem or huff and puff it off.

The internet is a great aid.With the internet now people have the opportunity to evolve quicker as a person, as a society. We are really outgrowing these outdated toxic sludge ideas older generations made us old on to. You can be at peace, to by giving yourself a pass, as much as you may be giving it to others. While those with vested interests and those in power and those of tradition are begging to hold onto . This is only so because those people are so clouded that they can’t see through their perceived safety of familiarity.

People either overcome it, fall right into it in life or fall right into it and commit suicide, the two aren't different. They both are desperate means to shed one’s humanity to grab on to respect promised by perceived masculinity.

Let go, go free. There is so much more to life. Especially that needs doing. So I hope no one fools themselves because it’s a foolish ugly desperate path and it’s a trap. Be happy, Be Kind, Be yourself and you will be free.